THE DEFINITIVE TEST FOR BECOMING AN AUTHENTIC CITIZEN OF LANZAROTE

Being a citizen of the Canary Islands is a sentiment that unites us. We are renowned for our kind and friendly nature, but just like everywhere else, on Lanzarote, there are certain things that only true Conejeros (the nickname for the island’s residents) do. If you want to be one of us, you have to answer yes to at least 85 of the statements on this list!

1. You had milk and roasted gofio corn for breakfast.
2. Lunch is fish sancocho with its corresponding green and/or red mojo sauce.
3. You take a swim in the sea at Puerto del Carmen beach in mid-December
   
4. You’ve taken part in the Romería de los Dolores procession.
5. You’ve watched the Quemao Class surfing competition with your friends.
6. You’ve tasted the wine at Bodegas de la Geria.
7. You haven’t been on a camel ride in Timanfaya because “that’s only for foreigners.”
8. You’ve been up and down the length of Puerto del Carmen Avenue.
9. Authentic Conejeros don’t get hungry, they get “fatigued.”
10. You don’t bother sweeping your terrace because “another calima (dust and sand that blows in from the Sahara) is forecast for tomorrow”.
11. You’ve been for a drink at Varadero.
12. You’ve been on a shopping trip to Deiland and the Biosfera shopping mall.
13. You’ve done the full tour of all the island’s summer open-air dances at least once.
14. You’ve been on an outing to the Bosquecillo viewpoint (even though you went with school).
15. You are bound to have had coffee and churros for breakfast at the Fontanales coffee shop in Arrecife.
16. You’ve been to Famara convinced that it won’t be windy.
    
17. Rather than having a fizzy drink, “you down a Clipper”.
18. You feel that wherever you go on the island, you’ll meet someone you know.
19. If you enjoy surfing, you’ve caught the waves in La Santa.
20. You’ve debated with your friends about which Canary Island beer is the best.
21. A true conejero doesn’t take a nap on the beach, he/she “basks in the sun”.
22. You’ve been to Las Curcharas beach to practise (or watch) kite-surfing.
    
23. When you travel outside Lanzarote, you naturally extol its virtues.
24. You’ve been for a drink at El Charco, before partying the night away at La Marina.
25. You are familiar with all the designs by architect César Manrique.
26. You’ve “shot some baskets” in Tao.
27. You’ve spent an entire day at the Costa Teguise Water Parke.
28. For a true conejero, a 10-minute drive seems like an eternity.
29. You’ve visited La Graciosa at least once.
30. You go to the north of the island to enjoy a fish dish, because “that’s where they really know how to make it”.
31. You use the local expression “Ños” to express how you feel 90% of the time.
32. You’ve been to the Cactus Park because admission is free for residents.
33. You’ve spent more than 8 hours in Papagayo because of course “otherwise, it’s not worth the trip”.
34. You are convinced that Playa Blanca is only for foreigners.
35. You like going up to the top of the Mirador del Río viewpoint to breathe in the pure air.
36. You’ve been down to the bottom of Risco de Famara on your own or with friends.
37. You’ve watched a movie at the Atlántida cinema.
38. You think nothing of going to your grandma’s in the middle of a heat wave to eat a hearty stew.
39. Someone from the Spanish mainland has asked you to say muyayo (muchacho – pronounced in the Canary Island way).
40. For an authentic conejero, “a while” can last anything between 5 minutes and 8 hours.
41. You know all the New Year’s Eve monologues by local comedian Manolo Vieira.
42. You’ve eaten a salchipollo (chicken, chips and sauces) in Playa Honda.
43. Conejeros aren’t slow; it’s just that everyone else goes fast.
44. On Lanzarote the sun doesn’t shine, it “blazes”.
45. You’ve slept on the beach after the Famara open-air dance.
46. All Europe’s grandmas and grandpas are on Lanzarote.
47. You say “We’ll see” to put off doing something you really don’t fancy.
48. You put your coat on when the temperature drops to 20 ºC.
49. When it rains it’s always a surprise.
50. You don’t abandon a conejero – you leave them “on land”.
51. You know the lyrics to Pepe Benavente’s “El Polvorete” by heart.
52. You Mum has told you more than once to “take a cardigan in case it gets chilly at night”, when the temperature is over 20 ºC.
53. As a true conejero, you take your first dip in the sea on 6^th January, as soon as you’ve opened your gifts from the Three Wise Men.
54. On Canary Islands’ Day you suddenly get the urge to eat  mimos and mantecados – baked meringues and almond pastries.
55. You walked to Los Charcones, because, “there’s no way I’m taking the car down there”.
56. After a day’s rain, you’re convinced Lanzarote has turned into the Amazon jungle.
57. You prefer to go to the cinema in El Charco so you can have a drink at a bar afterwards.
58. You exaggerate your “Cs” as much as possible so everyone knows where you’re from.
59. You’re a personal friend of practically all the bands that perform at the open-air dances.
60. You think Lanzarote is boring until someone from the mainland says so. Then you quickly change your tune, claiming that there’s nowhere like Lanzarote.
61. The after-beach ice cream on Avenida de Fariones tastes like heaven.
62. You’ve charged down the Risco de Famara cliffs fired with energy, but coming back up is a different story.
63. You think that travelling round the world is nothing compared with going from Haría to Playa Blanca.
64. You’ve tried to catch the waves in Famara.
65. You’ve had your photo taken in the rooftop bar of the Gran Hotel.
66. You’ve been shopping on Calle Real street.
67. You’ve got a friend who loves going to Charco del Palo naturist resort. Or maybe it’s you.
68. You’ve been to the Cueva de la Paloma natural monument.
    

    La Paloma Cave, photo by ramonperezniz.com

     

69. At some time you have considered moving to the Famara Bungalows.
70. You’ll have been for a bike ride around La Santa.
71. You go to El Golfo to eat seafood.
72. You wonder why El Cielo Disco hasn’t been done up.
73. You’ve camped out on Famara Beach on more than one occasion.
74. The dust and sand from the calima is the reason why your car is always dirty.
75. You say hello with a hearty “Ohh, que pasó!” rather than the traditional “Hola”.
76. You say goodbye with “Venga” instead of “Adiós”.
77. Picking grapes in June is the national sport.
78. You’ve been for a stroll along Puerto Calero Avenue.
    

    Puerto Calero, photo by holacanarias.com

79. You’ve had a meal in a Teleclub cultural association.
80. You’ve taken part in games of chance during the local festival in your town.
81. You can tell the difference between the accent on Lanzarote and the other islands.
82. If you have one too many, you’re not drunk, you’re “merry”.
83. You only watch the news on the Canary Island TV channel.
84. You’ve been to Fariones carnival.
85. For you, sancocho is the most typical dish.
86. La Capri in Puerto del Carmen is one of your favourite places for dinner.
87. We bet you’ve eaten fish churros in Ginori.
88. In summer, you like going enjoying a drink at the street cafés in El Charco.
89. You didn’t know there was a town called Ye.
90. You’ve seen the “Witch of Haría” lights.
91. You are convinced that Lanzarote is the most special of all the Canary Islands.
92. When you leave, you always promise to return.

You may also be interested in: 5 things you need to know before visiting Lanzarote

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